Sugar : my frenemy

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Hmmm, so… as I finish my chicken and salad on mountain bread wrap… I guess I could write some news 🙂

The first, I’m not so proud of – after 3 days of eating only protein (in the detox phase of my eating plan), and one day of eating well, last night, I succumbed to a Magnum.  I was at my sister’s house for dinner, and I don’t know what it is about people that makes them offer you delicious things as soon as they know you are on a healthy eating plan, BUT THEY ALWAYS DO and I didn’t have the willpower to say no.

Yes, it was wrong, and I hated myself afterwards, because it was all I could think about until I went to bed last night – after denying my body sugar for 3 days, that sugar hit was honestly like a drug, and once I’d had it, I wanted more….. BUT I DIDN’T!!!!!! And that is a first for me, as a Magnum or any other sweet treat is usually the beginning of an all-out sugar binge.

I think, more than anything, I will find giving up sugar the hardest post-surgery.  Eating refined sugars or starchy carbs after a gastric bypass is a definite no-no as it goes straight through your system and causes “dumping syndrome” – which may mean nausea, vomiting, bloating, cramping, diarrhea, dizziness and fatigue… and I don’t know about you, but I don’t think any amount of sugar is worth feeling that crappy.  Not to mention counter-productive to going through such a huge surgery and why you are doing it in the first place.

The hubby went back to work this morning – he works away in mining for 2 weeks and is home for 2 weeks at a time – the 2 weeks at home is great, as I get a break and a helping hand – not to mention an adult to talk to! As for the 2 weeks he is away, well, I’ve gotta say, they’re pretty tough.  I don’t have many friends with children or any family close by, so looking after my monsters on my own for 2 weeks…. well, lets just say it’s a challenge!  So, the challenge for this fortnight will be to live in my high stress surroundings, and NOT turn to food to make it feel better.  While my husband was home I also had someone to be accountable to, and he is also changing his eating habits in order to support me while also gaining benefits for his health too.  Don’t get me wrong – the break from each other is a blessing sometimes too – and I wouldn’t dare admit it to him, but on a day like today, the hubby is back at work, the kids are in daycare, it is SO GOOD to just sit at home in silence!

Now for some motivation to get off the couch and do something physical…………….

Til next time,

Tash.

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Hello world!

Well, where to start?

I guess I should start by introducing myself.  My name is Natasha, or Tash, as those I am closest to call me 🙂  I live in Western Australia with my husband, two small children and our cat who thinks he is a dog.  Today I am starting my weight loss journey – my Skinny Girl Project – my search to find the buried treasure underneath!  I am new to blogging (so bear with me!), but I’m hoping that by doing this blog I can stay on track, use it as an outlet, learn a bit about myself, and if anyone ever reads it, provide some support and advice along the way 🙂

I’ve been battling with my weight for as long as I can remember.  An overweight pre-teen, obese teenager, and morbidly obese adult, I hit my heaviest in 2005 at 154kg (339lbs).  Enough was enough, I needed help.  So I became one of the very first (6th, in fact) to have a sleeve gastrectomy procedure, which was revised 6 months later in 2006.  By the end of 2007, I was 97kg (213lbs) – life was great!!! My husband and I decided to start trying for a family, and after the stress of not being able to conceive, I found myself at 106kg (233lbs) when we started the first round of drugs for IVF – only to find out we had fallen pregnant naturally 12 days later 😀 I put on a whopping 31kg (68lbs) with my daughter, and after a difficult premature birth, found myself at the throes of post-natal depression.  But the surprises didn’t end there, seven months later I found out I was pregnant with our son, and I had my two children 15 months apart – my two blessings – they are my world 🙂  So, in the almost 2 years since my son was born, the weight has slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) crept up and I find myself here today at 134kg (295lbs) – which is not quite the 154kg I was previously was, but I tell you, it feels dangerously close.

Miserable and depressed, it was time to enlist some help again.  And so, after months of deliberating and weighing up options, my surgeon and I decided on a Roux En Y gastric bypass.  It comes with great risks, but I have weighed those against the benefits and truly believe it is my best option for a normal, happy and healthy life.

August 14th is my surgery date – I’m super excited – and started a high protein, low carb diet today in order to try to lose some weight and shrink my liver in order to go into the surgery as safely as I possibly can, while also learning how I will be eating after surgery.  I’m looking forward to a healthier future for myself, and for my family, and being able to do all the things that my current frame won’t allow.

Well, that’s my story.  I’m feeling brave, so I’ll even share my “before” photo.  Be kind – especially about the socks 😉

‘Til next time xx

10th July, 2012

134kg (295lbs)