A *new* day

Above is my new mantra.  And you’ll see in the following post why it feels so appropriate.

Okay, so, yesterday, I set myself 3 goals, 3 promises that I would make my best efforts to keep at least for this week and hopefully hereon after.

The third, to post here at least every second day, I have already taken care of, because as you can see, I am here!

The first, to take all of my supplements, I jumped up and took care of not more than 5 minutes ago, when I took my second and final supplement for the day – and I admit it was because posting here reminded me – proving goal 3 works!

The second, to ensure that I consume more than 60g of protein per day (the dietician recommended between 60g-120g) I not only achieved, but BLITZED – I managed to eat 85g of protein today!  And I could not have done it without the help of a couple of amazing resources.

The first is the myfitnesspal app that I use to track food intake on my iPhone and iPad, however you can also track on the myfitnesspal.com website, and they also have an android, blackberry and windows phone app.  You can use it to track all of your food and nutrients, daily exercise and fluid intake.  Plus, by putting in your measurements and goals, it also gives you a customised plan and sets your calorie and nutrient targets for each day.  Best of all, it is absolutely FREE!  I can’t tell you enough how great this app is.

The second, is a blog written by Gastric Bypass veteran and expert, Shelly, at “The World According to Eggface”.  Here I have found numerous eating plans, recipes and tips and tricks from someone who has been where I am and living it.  I believe her page isn’t just for those who have had bariatric surgery, her recipes, ideas and meals are healthy and appetising to anyone.   She also has a current giveaway that as a GB newbie I would absolutely love, so please go and take a quick look at her blog – you will not be disappointed.

So, being on a “puree” diet, what did I eat?  I’m so glad you asked!  Thanks to the ideas over at “The World According to Eggface”, this was the day in the life of my pouch:

Breakfast : Banananilla Protein Shake = 1 small banana, 1 scoop of vanilla protein shake, 200ml water and ice.  Blend.

I can’t believe I never thought to make my protein shakes more interesting!

Lunch : Seafood salad mix chopped up fine with a tablespoon of lemon and dill mayonnaise seafood dressing.  DELICIOUS.

Dinner : Nachos…. sans chips = I fried some mince beef with a little olive oil, onion and garlic.  Added refried beans.  Topped with salsa and melted cheese.  OHMAHGAHD.  Who knew pureed food could taste so good?!

Who said nachos need chips?

All of this possible on a uni day, might I add – an excuse I would have used in my *former* life for not being organised.  The meal was quick and healthy enough for my children and husband to also eat, except modified with homemade tortilla chips.

Oh, and as it was a uni day, I’ll leave you with a picture of my new student nurse uniform – I had to alter it myself with my beginner sewing machine skills a week after surgery, in order to accommodate my big swollen belly.  I hope to use those beginner sewing machine skills to put the pleat back into it.  Haha.

Finally feeling clinical and on my way to being a nurse!

So set forth on your new day tomorrow.  I know I plan to 🙂

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Home (again), Jeeves!

So I came home yesterday… only to run a fever by the evening and find myself in hospital again overnight. As it turns out, it was probably respiratory related, as my fever subsided as soon as I had coughed up a mucous plug (TMI, I know!). So here I am, home again, and I’ve just been doing a lot of sleeping – I feel so tired all the time.

While I was in hospital, I was started on a “clear fluids” diet, and since I’ve been home I have to be on a “liquids” diet for the next 2 weeks – that means nothing thicker than milk. I’m still pretty nauseous, so I am finding it hard to stomach most things like protein shakes and soups but know that I need some nourishment to stay healthy.

Emotionally, I’m not really sure how I feel about the entire procedure. I just want to feel normal again… and to anyone who thinks weight loss surgery is an “easy way out” oh you have no idea how wrong you are.

Hope you are all well out there… xx

It’s been a few days…

 

Argh!  Sick kids! One of life’s cruelest jokes – both of my children had horrendous ear infections as a result of an awful cold, and my daughter had a wheeze and cough that may indicate that she too, like her brother, may have asthma!  So any spare time I had in between tending to sick children was spent in BED ASLEEP, and let me tell you, it wasn’t much time at all.

Otherwise, not much to report really… just trying to survive through the days… I have loosened a little on the diet – have introduced a few more carbs and not as strict on the amount of protein… and I am sure it will show on the scales.  So for now, I am not weighing myself!  I think, if I see anything but a loss on those scales it will do me more harm than good and I will just feel so disappointed that I will turn back to food.

I also think I may have loosened a little on the food as I feel like I am saying goodbye to some of my favourites – some foods I will never, ever be able to eat after the 14th August.  Isn’t that sad – mourning foods?

I watched a documentary last night about a couple of young teenage girls in America who were also turning to weight loss surgery as their last resort in a bid to lose weight.  One was a girl who weighed 152 kg (335 pounds) and had roux eny gastric bypass, like myself.  And all of a sudden I think it hit me – how much my life is going to change after surgery – changes I have been informed of and I am ready for but all of a sudden seem SO real.  Like taking supplements for the rest of my life in order   to prevent nutritional deficiencies, making sure I have between 60-120g protein every day so that my hair doesn’t fall out and the fact I will never eat chocolate again without being sick.

Like I said, I am fully aware of all this, and considered all these things for a very long time…. but with only 3 weeks and 4 days it all seems very REAL…

It is also starting to hit me how afraid I am – it’s like I have been numbing my fear of surviving the procedure itself and I am finding I am gazing at my children a little longer, smelling their hair, listening to them laugh and squeezing them just that little bit tighter.  I am also worried about my emotional state post-surgery, and I just hope that I don’t have a psychological setback – I have been doing so well in this area – and this has not always been the case.

More than anything, I am afraid of failure.  This was pointed out to me by a comment posted by lisafatgirlrunning (check out her blog – she is truly an amazing woman) and after doing some thinking I agree with her – the shame  I spoke about in a previous post was not so much about what other people thought, but more ashamed of myself and my failures in the past and the possibility of failing yet again.

It’s not all doom and gloom…. I’m starting to see a glimmer of hope in the distance – something I haven’t been able to do for a very long time, and not just with things relating to weight.  I feel I may have a healthy and active future in the distance and finally be able to grasp and LIVE life, not just exist and have life pass me by.

On that note, the boy is awake again… can’t figure out whether it is teething or earache… or both.

‘Til next time…

 

Shame.

 

It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.

The decision to go through with surgery was not one that was made lightly, it was months of research, weighing up options, and countless consultations with medical professionals.  It will mean drastic changes in my life in order for it to be effective and to maintain my health.  It is also a “last resort” – I can’t possibly live this way anymore.  My health – physical, mental and emotional just can’t take it anymore.

So why do I find it so difficult to tell the people closest to me that I am doing it? Aside from my immediate family and one friend, I have told everybody that I will be having a hiatus hernia repaired – a half truth, as I will be having the hernia fixed in the same procedure.  I finally felt the fear and told one of my best friends today – and her reaction shocked me – because it was nothing but support and reassurance.

I am not sure it is even people’s reaction that I am afraid of.  It’s more what they may be thinking.  That I am taking an “easy way out”.  That I am just lazy.  That I am beyond help.  The truth is – people are people and their motives are not always nice.  I’ve been in situations before where revealing something personal about myself has been used as emotional blackmail.

So for now, the jury is out – to tell, or not to tell?

Or I suppose they could just stumble upon this blog….. 😉